12 Days of Christmas

I thought it would be fun to have 12 days of Christmas Outfits... We'll see how many days I go before I forget to take a picture or end up in sweats till 4 in the afternoon...

So I'm totally digging day #1! My boss told me I looked like I jumped out of a Ralph Lauren ad, but I was kind of channeling Grandpa... Cowboy Christmas, duh!

Happy Birthday to my BLOG!

Friends, do you realize I've had this blog for a year now?
Three days ago I celebrated one year, but I forgot so I am celebrating today!!

It's hard to believe that a years worth of thoughts have been searchable for a year now. I've been terrible at keeping up the past few months! 

I promise to myself that there will be a new post each week. 

Is the word baffling a verb or a noun?

There are a few things at this very moment that completely baffle me...

One being the relationship between timing and agency, I don't want to get into it though because I still confuse myself. 

Is it just me, or do you wake-up at a certain time in the morning and then "sleep-think" till your alarm goes off?? It normally happens everyday around 5 and then I sleep-think for about two hours...
It's exhausting and the dreams are always SO peculiar.

Anyways, life is kind of baffling me right now.

 All I have to say about it is "I don't know?, I don't know?,

 I DONT KNOW?'" 

 Most of the time I start out stomping my feet, then swing my arms, and end up on the floor with a big sigh... It never really helps though. I normally just laugh, get up, and blame it on my inability to express my frustration any other way...

The past two weeks I have been entertaining the idea of opposites attract

Logically this saying makes no sense what so ever.

But then I think about it...

None of my girlfriends and I have anything superfically in common.

We all grew up differently, have different interests, different styles, different taste in boys... different could go on and on!

WE JUST WORK!!

Ok, so I'm going to get a little nerdy and define superficially; concerned with or comprehending only what is on the surface or obvious. 
So the many "just work" relationships we possess have to be from what we feel not what we see, right?
The qualities and attributes that make us who we are.

It's quite obvious that dating is the utmost example of this theory.
Sometimes I feel like I have dated every guy in Provo (I'm obviously exaggerating, but I'm proving a point here). The more people I date, the more I realize how unrealistic it would be to end up with the guy version of myself.
Believe me, I've tried!

I've come to the conclusion that we're not here to be complacent.  We're here to grow and progress. We're meant to be challenged.
To learn and recreate ourselves over and over again.
My "supposed" interests right now are 100% different than that of 5 years ago.
Passions change and so do people.
Then why is everyone so worried about superficial commonalities?
I'm looking for someone who I could literally have fun doing anything with. Someone that wants to introduce me to new things.
Someone that won't let me quit till I'm kicking his butt at it.

Who's to say that everything you're not, isn't exactly what you need??

Ok, one last thing or I may come up with another baffling thought...
If dating someone that is exactly like you hasn't worked in the past, maybe something different is the solution... or someone different!

Happy Thinking!! 

Dorothy in another life

Everyone is going to LOVE this movie by the time I am through with them...

The Dad

This song always makes me tear up a little (I know, big surprise) when I listen to it...

It of course reminds me of my dad; who has basically been on a 48 hour watch with me the past two days (laughing about it now, but it's a long story)... 

Favorite verse of the song!

Someday, some boy will come and ask me for your hand.
But I won't say "yes" to him unless I know, he's the half
that makes you whole, he has a poet's soul, and the heart of a man's man.
I know he'll say that he's in love.
But between you and me. He won't be good enough!

I LOVE YOU DADDY!!

Self Explanatory

If Anxiety Girl had blonde hair I would serious question if she was my alter ego... 

We have a whole LOT in common!!

I think I would wear a gold mask though,
 oh and my super power would be the incredible eye twitch, just sayin. 

Summer Recap

I sure did fall of the face of the earth!!

Summer 2011 in a nut shell...

2 trips home

2 trips to Lake Havasu

and 1 last minute trip to Lake Powell

It's been a crazy few months, but I made it out in one piece.

Lets see... 

I studied and took the GRE

Hiked the Y twice

Painted the kitchen with the girls

Learned how to paddle board

and actually got some air wakeboarding...

       

We had so much fun!! I'm excited to see what fall has in store... it should be interesting that's for sure!!

I think TOO much...

How do you define fear? 

I'm not talking about being scared of spiders or something as silly as the dark...

For me, it's more along the lines of wanting something so bad that you're terrified you won't get it, or achieve it. 

So fear is passion, fear is love

Sometimes I feel like I have too much passion.
I swear I am passionate about everything in my life!
About all the people around me
The nail polish on my toes
And the new Instyle magazine that I've already flipped through a dozen times
I even have passion for a voicemail that I have listened to over and over again
 It's like your heart can only hold so much love that it just starts spilling over.
SO passion and love at some point have to transcend fear

I wouldn't say I have a fear of the future... There are so many things that I want to do and achieve. I'm excited to see where my life leads and who will get to be apart of it.  However, I do fear that I won't live up to my true potential,
 my "Great Expectations", I'm the real life Pip!!

I think I worry too much about what other people expect of me (you guessed it, I'm a worrier). I feel responsible to be a good example to my sisters and to make my parents proud. There's nothing wrong with that...
I try extremely hard to be the person I am suppose to be.
Now lets be honest, I have no idea where this "persona" came from??
The pressures surrounding me? Or the pressures that I put on myself?
It has to be a little of both... they are practically one in the same at this point.

Someone has told me many a times to "Do what you want and be who you are. That is all that matters". So, here I am standing at a crossroad terrified of applying to graduate school because I want so badly to get into a promising MFT program. I could pretty much unroll a list a mile long of things I want so badly... 

I guess it's time to transcend fear & know that being myself is my only
Great Expectation!

Oh and by the way... Andi and I have decided we're going to Europe next summer!!

Something to think about...

So I was rummaging through my drawer for a suitable bookmark when I came across this quote I wrote on a random piece of paper...

"Everything happens for a reason, whether you know it now, or when you find out later, after your broken heart led you to someone better".

I have no idea where I found it, who said it, or when I wrote it down, but it sure does make a whole lot of sense... I call it dodging bullets...

 Andi calls it dodging whale harpoons!!

Why is it that you always figure it out later?? 

I would argue human nature, but that's a whole other topic entirely.

Write it down and stick it in your drawer... 

You may have the same AHA moment I did!!

SUMMER

This morning I was sitting on the back of the boat,

missing my grandpa so much I could hardly breath...

and with each gust of wind I could feel him all around me.

It's amazing how I can literally go through life taking EVERYTHING for granted, and then I have that one moment that puts it all into perspective.

When the sun is low in the sky and the light literally dances on the water, almost like it's sparkling,

That's when I realize how truly grateful I am for all that I have. . .

It's when I stop worrying about school, work, boys, what I'm going to wear (for some reason I always worry about that)...

I am so grateful for the time I spend with my family at the Lake this past week! We had so much fun!!

Happy Summer!!

Snorkeling... if you didn't already figure that one out (not my most glamorous moment)!

Daddy's Day

Perfect end to a Perfect Father's Day!!

I LOVE YOU Daddy!!!

Hitched

So Amanda and Brandon got married last Thursday,
 and I haven't had a chance to put up a few pictures from the wedding!!

 

All three of us caught a part of the bouquet....
haha I wonder who will get married next?

We love Brandon and Amanda so much and are so excited for their new adventure...
Congratulations you two!!

Birthday Wishes

Daddies are really important!

They solve every problem imaginable,

Check for bugs in your room,

 Brush and blow dry your hair,

Make sure your cheer shoes are nice and white for Friday games,

They snore!!

Barbecue the best Tri-tip EVER,

Take you wakeboarding at 5:30 in the morning,

Tell you "good job" when you get asked out on a date,

Dance to sounds of the 70's in the car,

They never miss a game or a competition,

Give the best hugs,

And cry a lot hahaha,

They call you every few hours just to see what you're doing,

Ask if you are going to put a little lipgloss on before church, 

ALWAYS take the trash out,

Turn your car on in the morning so it's warm when you get in,

and would literally do anything to make you happy....

Ok so maybe this just describes my dad and it's his BIRTHDAY!!

I could think of 52 of my favorite things about him, but there is only one that matters most...
Daddy I don't think I could love you more than I do right now!!
Thank you for your constant sacrifice and support.
I miss you so much and I can't wait to see you next weekend!!

A little older and a lot goofier, but he sure is handsome!!

Story of my LIFE

I'm sorry, but I can't stop laughing at this picture...

I was using my best Happy Birthday singing voice, prepping her for the BIG 21st birthday wish and she still found something to laugh at me about...

I look perfectly normal! There is no possible way I was doing something funny!!

More often than not I am asking "why are you laughing at me"?

Normally what I've said or done wasn't meant to be funny.

I have this thing where people laugh at me when I am being completely serious!

It obviously has to do with the way I form a schema or process thoughts...

Either way I've come to accept that anything and everything I say could immediately follow with laughter and someone saying "you're ridiculous"

Hopefully it will be a charming quality to someone... 

Kind of like tripping over everything and twirling my hair!!!

Ok, so maybe I was singing a little silly...

Andi's 21st Birthday Bash included her favorite treats, rootBEER, a sparkly tiara,

 and too many people to count!

We all had so much fun celebrating her milestone!

She got the Longchamp bag my parents got for her today in the mail!

She was wearing it around the house like she was walking the streets of New York or Paris.

I love you Andi Pandi

  

Meet me in Paris...

I am completely enamored by the thought of Paris...

I am quite convinced that one trip would change my life in ways I can't even comprehend! 

I don't know if it's the beauty of the architecture, the rich culture, or the inspiring fashion that intrigues me most, but I know that one day I will have a picnic next to the Eiffel Tower.

I will marvel the masterpieces of the Louvre,

Absorb the splendor of Tuileries gardens,

Walk along the River Seine,

People watch at Notre Dome,

Shop the market on champ elysees,

and admire the majesty of arche de triomphe.

Become overly obsessed with Claude Monet as I explore the gardens at Giverny,

and pretend to be Marie Antoinette frolicking around Versailles. 

I dream of Paris in black and white...

As I think of this enchanting place I can only hope to fall in LOVE...

With EVERYTHING!

Someday...

I have issues...

I day dream about outfit combinations...

There has got to be something wrong with me!!

I am currently obsessing over:

A tribal print maxi dress from Nordstrom

This leopard kini that I have to have!
I can't think of anything else right now... (that's probably a good thing)

However, the Hermes Birkin Bag will always be my forever obsession.
I may have ISSUES!

 Some Day....

Just Like Mary Poppins...

Practically perfect in every way...

I love you Mommy so much! 

Three girls could never ask for anyone more AMAZING to look up to.

Happy Mother’s Day to the many wonderful women in my life!

There's no place like home!

So Andi and I had this brilliant plan to surprise my parents for a long Easter weekend at home.

We made it to San Diego in record time, gave my parents a fright, and even got to surprise my Gramma!!

I have such great intentions when I go home. I always bring my running shoes and really cute outfits to wear... I bring my laptop thinking I will get things done when really I just use it to go on Facebook and watch a movie on Netflicks.

No matter how long my nap is during the day I always end up in bed no later than 10:30 pm. I may have worn the same juicy pants all weekend and as hard as I tried, my hair had a "went to bed with my hair wet" look that I perfected over our four day stay. I know, it sounds so be-A-U-tiful!!

It gets better! So, I bring three outfits, church clothes, and pjs. Seems like NOTHING! There is no way I could make my room messy from something as little as a carryon half full of clothes...

I don't have anything further to say on the subject...

Oh well, I'm over it!!
Things to look forward to...Amanda's Bridal shower that we are throwing her! YAY!!

X's & O's

Sending lots of LOVE from Utah! 

We are getting ready for some warm weather...

I can't wait to share all the fun we will be having in the coming Spring/Summer months!!

Spring Cleaning

I've felt like Cinderella the past few days...

Bleach has been my esteemed confidant as I have scoured the entire house!

This morning I tackled my closet... quite the task! 

At this point my entire wardrobe is on my bed, I am sitting on the floor (next to my laundry piles), willing each piece of clothing to put itself AWAY!

I don't have much more to say on the subject (it's kind of bugging me), other than 

by the time I'm finished it will literally CHANGE MY LIFE.

I will probably be able to hide in my closet, not to mention be able to find that navy cardigan I miss placed a few weeks ago when I bought it...

As for my metaphorical "spring cleaning" I'm still working on the boy drama!

I know I said this about 3 months ago when I was working on my New Years Improvements, and to my credit I did SO well for about a month and a half. Maybe I tend to surround myself with dramatic boys? 

I think that's it!!

 I guess I should have just listened to Blaire Bear... In January she predicted that I would endure boy drama till the summer months... I sure am glad it's almost May!

At least I have a happily ever after to look forward to!

Happy Spring Cleaning!

The Infinite Power of Hope

"Hope, is like the beam of sunlight rising up and above the horizon of our present circumstances. It pierces the darkness with a brilliant dawn. It encourages and inspires us to place our trust in the loving care of an eternal Heavenly Father, who has prepared a way for us."
“In the depth of winter, [we find] within [us] an invincible summer.”

^{~President Dieter F. Uchtdorf}

HAPPY FRIDAY!

New York Trip

 I have no idea why this took so long, but better late than never...

So about a month ago my mom and I went to New York for a few days of FUN

Here are some of the pictures of our great adventure...

Mommy made me take a picture in front of all of our favorite candies, and I made her take a picture with Ralph in the Fashion District... 

I forget what we were doing here? Probably just resting our feet for a minute.

Getting some goodies at Dylan's

Serendipity frozen hot chocolate 

Our one and only trip on the Subway down to SOHO... It was quite an experience!

I was very proud of us... we made it there and back without getting lost!

It was seriously so much fun and I can't wait to go back with her! Hopefully in the Summer when it is a little warmer. 

Boo Bee Boo

Happy Birthday to My Bai Bai

You are 17 today... a little older, a little wiser, and more and more beautiful everyday!

The most wonderful and fabulous reasons I LOVE Bailers so much

 Her kook laugh

Her beautiful brown hair

Her sense of style

Watching her cheer

Her example

Her weird obsession with Avatar

Her ability to find the good in everything

Her many wolf T-shirts

The way she talks to Rugby

All of her picture taking

Her hazel eyes

Her quesadillas

Eating chocolate shakes with her

Taking naps with her and Andi

Her taste in music

Her dancing

Her unconditional love

I love you so much Bailee Boo, enjoy your special day!!

I would rather be WEIRD than normal

There is something about being able to recognize your flaws that truly intrigues me.

Perfection is something that I am constantly striving for,

and yet I have come to realize I will probably never be like Mary Poppins,

"Practically perfect in every way"

I like to believe that a few (not all) of my flaws could be some of my best qualities.

I tend to run into anything and everything (walls, furniture, you name it)

There doesn't have to be ice on the ground for me to slip or trip over something
My arms are a bit long in proportion to my body, so my sleeves are always short

I am a people-pleaser
I sometimes snort when I laugh
I am a bit neurotic about certain things

When I am really tired I sleep with one eye slightly open (it's weird)

I have a hard time when I don't get my way
I'm kind of a space cadet

I worry too much
I can't pass by a mirror without looking at myself
I constantly have a million thoughts in my head, it's exhausting
I am really hard on myself

Admitting my imperfections is the first step to embracing others amiable qualities.
I love that people's flaws can be some of my favorite things about them!

Perfection is something we will never achieve on this earth, we aren't supposed to! This being said, I am perfectly content in my knowledge that if we try our hardest in all we do, Heavenly Father will make up for the rest of our short comings.

Which brings me to our disposition...
I praise individuality.

Something that separates me from everyone else in this world makes me special.
Makes all of us special.

I have come to realize that being myself is way better than pretending to be something I'm not.
What's the point of fitting in when we were born to stand out?

I am OBSESSED!

SO I have been obsessing over a fashion blogger that caught my eye while exploring the "look book" website Andi and I love so much.

She has such a great point of view and the way she mixes her Louis Vuitton and her Old Navy is seriously genius. Her looks are inspiring and I could see myself in every single one. Check her out and let me know what you think. Here is her latest look that Brookie and I were DYING over!!

atlantic-pacific.blogspot.com

Oh and here is the look book website lookbook.nu

You are Cordially invited...

As per usual...

I am obsessing over a cluster of thoughts that have been occupying the space in
my head. I have been working on my positivity towards winter and the cold weather, but

It's time for SPRING!

It's time for tulips, green grass, floral tea dresses, and T-strap sandals.

Blaire, Andi, and I have been planning a bridal shower for Amanda; which is going quite smooth I might add... but with all my creative "party planning" energy, I have managed to plan an imaginary garden party right down to the color scheme and the floral arrangements.

I blame this on my inability to be patient with the changing season.

I love the idea of multiple vintage inspired glass vases as the foundation for a center piece. The color of these Hydrangea are just too perfect for words... I would pair them with plush pink tulips and beautiful pink peonies.

The handkerchief I was thinking of before I even found these pictures is green and pink with butterflies all over it. I wish I had a picture of it, but Mommy made it into a fabulous throw pillow and it is currently sitting on Andi's bed.

Paper lanterns and glass votive candles are a must.

There is something about cupcakes that puts a smile on my face. I love that they are decorated with fresh flowers! Cake pedestals make everything look beautiful... 

I LOVE these meringue cookies! They are the perfect little treat and SO adorable! 

I would probably wear something like this with three strands of pearls, maybe a few sparkly pins in my hair, and most likely a 4 inch heel of some sort...

What are you  going to wear?!

"Hearing your voice warmed our hearts and brightened our day."

Anytime I think or talk about my Grandpa I get tears in my eyes.

Slowly but surly, sad tears have gradually turned into happy tears.

I love thinking about him & his amazing influence on the many people in my life. 

The journey my family & I have taken these past three years has been life changing.

I hold tight to the many memories of him & the lessons I have learned since we lost him. I keep him with me in everything I do & I know he watches over me as I continue growing & progressing.

There are no words to express how lucky I am for the knowledge that we will one day be reunited. How grateful I am for the gospel & for my continually growing testimony that families are forever.

As I recognize his death, I praise his life 

Andi & I wrote a poem for Pa's funeral and this part of it always makes me smile...

"It’s the little things about you we remember best,

How you danced with Gramma and the way you dressed,

How loud you could whistle in a single blow,

And the way you answered the phone and said “HELLO”

Five children you and Gramma Have,

They are all so proud of their dear old dad.

Working your hardest and constantly giving,

A life in your presence was one worth living.

Your twenty grandkids were lucky to have such a guy.

Really loved their time with you and the twinkle in your eye.

We will all cherish the Powell name,

A legacy lives on, with you to blame."

It is hard to fathom loving him more than I do right now...

I feel him all around me, guiding me, inspiring me, comforting me

How I love you Grandpa

How I love my family